The Extraordinary Blogster

winnayy:

taking as many honors/AP classes i could.
every single AP exam i took (which was 100% fucking useless and a waste of $600).
spanish 1, 2, 3.
junior class treasurer.
JV tennis.
varsity tennis, co-captain.
junior class treasurer.
asb treasurer.
csf treasurer.
fil-asian treasurer, 3 year member.
service club, 2 year member.
key club president and charterer.
yearbook editor-in-chief.
having absolutely no room for any electives, but can leadership and yearbook seriously count as REAL electives anyways?  fuck i worked my ass off.
volunteering at san joaquin general hospital for 1 1/2 years.
the extremity in my lack of sleep.
the break downs i had.
the stress i could’ve avoided my senior year.
the extra work i could’ve avoided all four years.
everything i did to graduate as valedictorian.

because it was for my parents.
because i wanted them to recognize how hard i’ve worked FOR THEM.
because i wanted to get into a good college so they can brag or w/e.
because i wanted them to tell me how proud they were of me!

but in the end everything i did was just about POINTLESS.
because they expect even more of me now and ignore everything i’ve done in the past.
when they talk about me going to UCLA, they don’t brag.
they talk about how they wished i went to a community college instead,
how if i’m taking 14 units i’m wasting money so take another class or i’ll fucking bitch at you until you do so now i am,
how i’m just wasting money overall starting at UCLA and they told me to go to a community college first.
WELL MAYBE IF YOU TOLD ME MY FRESHMAN YEAR INSTEAD OF THE END OF MY SENIOR YEAR, I WOULD’VE.

how they are everything BUT fucking proud of me.
i seriously feel like i wasted four years of my life
TIMES TWO or so because i’ll probably die early since i probably had an average of 24 hours of sleep per week during high school therefore disintegrating my health to hell.

I felt the same way, however, my best friend aida told me the reason why I was doing everything I was doing was for myself. From now on, do everything for yourself winnayyy. I <3 u